Member Blogs

about 7 years ago, i was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, ptsd, and borderline personality disorder. i had a nervous breakdown while in the army. i was ordered to see a psychiatrist, so as ordered, i went. due to severe depression, suicidal ideations, and being out of touch with reality, i was hospitalized numerous times, for countless days. the days eventually turned into a 3 month stay at Walter Reed Army hospital in D.C. there the doctors were thru with me, they told me there was nothing more for them to do. take this medication and hopefully it'll help, also get some therapy. so i got a therepist.

i met my current boyfriend, sam, thru another friend. he took me out to his house one day and over in the pasture came running up to the fence line were 2 quarter horses. they were like big puppy dogs. i walked over to them and rubbed on them, patted them, and just loved on them. they were loving it, and ya know, so was i. i went back to my therepist telling what i had experienced. he told me lots of times horses are used in therepy. i should make it a point to go back each week and feed them treats. and so i did. i had something to look forward to. the horses had me to look to also. sam never really paid any attention to them. as i started brushing them on my future visits, i noticed i was starting to feel something inside me. the horses were doing something to me that i could not explain. so each week i would go back to my therepist and he would tell me to keep up with the horses. and so i did. they began to bring me out of myself.  sam's horses aren't broke. he just has them to have. i was longing to ride. so we went to the horse sale in mt. view, ok and saw diamond. she was green broke and only cost us 200.00.  when we got her home she was just as gentle as a kitten with a ball of yarn. she sure was beautiful. and she was mine. the longer i worked with her, the better i felt. she gives me so much to live for and to look forward to.  i still am under a doctor's care and can no longer work, take meds, but i no longer think about suicide, or go inside myself. i deal with life now. and diamond and the other 2 horses are apart of my healing process every day. so hats off to all horses.